(Note: The ironic thing is that because of comment spam and filtering, most people won’t actually get to read this post) … ha! :-)
I’ve got some time off and have been taking the time to organize things around the house. Trip to the dump (yes, that much stuff has accumulated in my shop), getting the garden in and just general house cleaning. While going through one of the drawers I found my “secret” stash of credit cards. I always had them for a rainy day so that I could make it even rainier by running up a bunch of debt. The stack I found was a bit alarming and as such, I decided it was time to give some of them the heave ho.
I identified 4 accounts (totally 8 cards for my wife and I) that just needed to go. I piled them up, grabbed the phone and a pen (to take notes) and headed out to the yard to see what kind of fun this was going to be. After all, the credit card companies do appreciate my business.
First up was my Eddie Bauer card. I got this one while I was buying some stuff at the Eddie Bauer Outlet in Woodburn, OR (how can you not love wrinkle-free technology?!). “Sign up for this card and get 10% off on this purchase.” Done and done. I was buying like 10 wrinkle-free shirts so how could I not?! This call was pretty painless. I answered a car load of “automatic” questions and then when they said “before we cancel your account, please stay on the line.” On comes a nice lady asking me what I need. Ummm … to close my account?! Didn’t I just do this? In any case, she was nice enough to do it and only asked once if I wanted to reconsider. I can appreciate the ole college try.
Next up, my Amazon.com credit card. My lord. This was another credit-card-sign-up-at-time-of-purchase … of course I want $50 off my next purchase!! Yeah! (Hint: if you’re a retailer and want my business, offer me stupid deals for credit cards and I’m yours). This call was hilarious. This guy should have been working the corner lot at some used car dealer. “Sir, are you sure you want to cancel this card? Is there anything we can do to help make this interesting for you? I see you have several other cards, why are you getting rid of this one?” First off, don’t call me sir. I’m 33. Secondly, don’t stalk me. Yes, I know you know that information, but don’t tell that to me, it makes me feel creepy. “We really appreciate your business sir, are you sure you don’t want to reconsider?” Again, sir. Grr. And for appreciating my business, I did one purchase with that card to the tune of $11.99 (I think I bought a wireless router and got $50 off) in the last 3 years. I’m not valued worth a lick. Painful is being nice. I almost felt bad about canceling this one … how could I do this? I thought to myself … :-)
Now I also had two cards in my possession that I think were the same. However, they had different card numbers and different customer service numbers but just for the sake of completion, I called both. Here is a card I got when I was in college from MBNA … they were the first suckers people to take a chance on me back in 1996 and give me a card. They also made sure to put “member since 1996″ on my card. Its like American Express, you start to covet that number and want to keep it just for that. Here is a card I had not used in over 4 years and yet I had this $25k+ credit limit on and a pretty good interest rate. The call was a bit painful. The menu options just weren’t there. Unless you waited. “Dial 1 to check your balance, 2 to report your card stolen or 3 to end this call.” 15 seconds later: “or dial 4 to speak with a customer representative or 5 to cancel your card.” That’s just plain sneaky. The big bonus however was that I didn’t have to talk to a soul. Once I found the option, they did it without intervention from a “customer representative.” +1 for that MBNA phone number (more on that in a second).
Finally, I had this other MBNA card that looked somewhat similar but with different card numbers and support phone numbers. I called and entered the last four digits of my account number and my zip code. I was then shuffled around with various clicking, etc and up comes some guys from the bank of the card that I did keep (not MBNA). “How can I help you today, sir?” Sir … grr … haha … :-) Ummm, why am I talking to you about this other card? “Well, let me get them on the line.” A click, a shuffle, a 30 second wait and some pleasant on-hold ramblings and a nice woman answers the call. “How can I help you today?” Note: no sir, yeah! Well, its a different account number alright. She’ll cancel it for me. But did I know that the interest rate on that other card is much higher than the one you’re canceling? Oh man. You’ve got to be kidding me. I want to believe this isn’t a setup and I’m sure it wasn’t. Somehow these systems are all interwoven and there is probably one giant call center that handles it all and the wires just got crossed but I find it interesting that she would put that little bit of information to me when I was canceling the account. I could have played it further but I didn’t. Account canceled.
Phew. Total time: 42 minutes flat. A lot shorter than I actually thought it would take.
You know what would be cool? A credit card company that wasn’t evil. One that didn’t flaunt the information about you that it knows. One that doesn’t try to upsell you or confuse you. Better still, I’d like to work with a group of my friends (that all get good credit) to get even better interest rates. It’ll happen … its just going to take a bit. Mark my words: you’ll see a Facebook credit card in the not-too-distant future … :-)